Over the past few weeks, God has been bringing me back to the same lesson again and again: Every time I put myself at the center, I get it wrong.
Not because my desires are always wrong. Not because my emotions are wrong. Not because my dreams are wrong. But because I was never meant to be the center.
Recently, I’ve been carrying the weight of some difficult decisions. I’ve wrestled with conflict. I’ve questioned what faithfulness looks like. I’ve prayed about business decisions, relationships, and the future. I’ve found myself worrying about what one person might think, then another, then another.
If I’m honest, I have spent a lot of time asking: What will they think? Will they understand? Will they agree? Will they be disappointed? Will this change our relationship?
As I brought all of this before the Lord, I realized that beneath my questions was a deeper issue: Whose opinion matters most?
Because whenever I place another person’s approval at the center of my life, I begin carrying a burden God never asked me to carry. And whenever I place myself at the center, I begin striving, controlling, worrying, and trying to manage outcomes that belong to God.
Jesus has been reminding me that there is only One who belongs at the center. Him.
Jesus Felt Deeply but Was Never Controlled by His Emotions
One thing I’ve learned recently is that being spiritually mature doesn’t mean becoming emotionally numb. In fact, Jesus felt deeply. He wept, He grieved, and He was troubled. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He experienced anguish so intense that He sweat drops like blood.
Jesus never ignored His emotions, but He also never allowed His emotions to become His master. Instead, He brought them honestly before the Father. His prayer wasn’t, “Father, remove these feelings.” His prayer was, “Not My will, but Yours be done.”
That is what obedience looks like. Not the absence of emotion but surrender in the middle of emotion.
The Battle Beneath the Battle
I’ve discovered that most of the battles we face are not actually about the circumstances in front of us. The real battle is often beneath the surface. It is the battle for what sits at the center of our lives. Is it approval? Control? Success? Comfort? Being understood? Being right? Or is it Jesus?
The truth is, whatever sits at the center will ultimately shape our decisions, our emotions, and our peace.
When people are at the center, we become controlled by their reactions. When success is at the center, we become controlled by outcomes. When comfort is at the center, we avoid obedience when it costs us something.
But when Jesus is at the center, something changes. We can love people deeply without being ruled by them. We can feel emotions without being controlled by them. We can have hard conversations with grace. We can take steps of faith without knowing how everything will turn out.
Obedience and Approval Are Not the Same Thing
One of the hardest lessons I continue to learn is that obedience and approval are not the same thing. There have been moments when I knew the right thing to do, but I hesitated because I was worried about how someone would respond. Would they understand? Would they agree? Would they support me?
The longer I walk with Jesus, the more I realize that many of my struggles are not about making the right decision. They are about deciding whose voice matters most.
When people sit at the center of my life, I become trapped by their opinions. I overthink, I second-guess, I seek reassurance, and I try to manage outcomes that were never mine to control. But when Jesus is at the center, I can listen carefully, pray honestly, seek wisdom, and then move forward in obedience. Not because everyone agrees, but because I trust the One who called me.
Peace does not come from everyone approving of my decisions. Peace comes from knowing I have listened carefully to God and responded in obedience.
A Simple Practice for Re-Centering Your Life on Jesus
When I find myself anxious, fearful, offended, frustrated, or consumed with what others think, I’ve learned to pause and ask a few honest questions.
First, what is pulling me away from Jesus right now? Is it fear, approval, control, success, or the need to be understood? Often our emotions reveal what has quietly moved to the center.
Second, what am I believing? Every emotion is connected to a belief. Anxiety may reveal the belief that everything depends on me. Fear may reveal the belief that I need everyone’s approval. Control may reveal the belief that God cannot be trusted with the outcome. When I bring the belief into the light, I can begin to see what has been driving me.
Third, what is true? This is where I have to open God’s Word and ask, “Father, what do You say about this?” I have to replace the lie with truth. Not simply, “What do I feel?” but, “What has God said?”
Fourth, what is my next obedient step? Not next year, not next month, but today. Sometimes obedience looks like having a difficult conversation. Sometimes it looks like extending forgiveness. Sometimes it looks like taking a step of faith. Sometimes it looks like waiting. God rarely shows us the entire path. He usually shows us the next step.
Returning to the Center
Every morning, we have an opportunity to ask: What is at the center of my thoughts? What is at the center of my decisions? What is at the center of my identity? What is at the center of my prayers?
Even my prayers reveal what is sitting at the center. Am I asking God to bless what I am already doing, or am I asking God what He is doing and how I can join Him? That is a very different prayer.
And if I discover that something other than Jesus has moved to the center, I do not need to feel shame. I simply need to return.
Because putting Jesus at the center is less about perfection and more about surrender. Less about striving and more about abiding. Less about performing and more about remaining connected to the One who is the source of life itself.
A tree survives storms because of where its roots are planted. Storms will come. Conflict will come. Hard decisions will come. People may not always understand. But when Jesus is at the center, the storms no longer get the final word.
And at the end of the day, I am not performing for a crowd. I am walking with my Father. And that is enough.

















































