Between the Rains

Between the Rains – I borrowed this title from a Beth Moore study session – as soon as Beth gave the name of the session, I knew it was for me.  I knew God had ordained my steps to do this study, if for no other reason, but to hear this session.  To be completely honest, entering this night of study, I was down, wore out, questioning everything I thought God had told me and wondering what in the world is going on with me.

It has been a while since I have posted on the blog – the reason for that is because God hasn’t put anything on my mind and heart to say.  The blog was not my idea in the first place; months ago I assured God I had nothing important to say and it would be a waste of time; nevertheless He kept making it clear for me to do it – hence the creation of the Shorttimer’s blog site.  It was so easy at first, He was continually speaking to me, putting on my mind and heart what to write.  But then it stopped.  Now what?  Should I just go sit at a computer, write and post something.  After all, how will that make me look, I started something and then it fizzled out.  But that is not what this blog is about.  This blog is about what God has to say, not me.  So I waited, and waited, going to God day after day, spending time with Him, listening and waiting.  And then one day in His quiet small voice He reminded me that my purpose is not to please man, but to please Him.  When He wants me to write again, He will give me the words to speak.

During this, I started in a new ministry at my church and it is a ministry that again, was so clear from God for me to do; yet I started to feel so insecure, unqualified and questioned why in the world God would ever want me to do this – there must be someone who would be much more effective.  With that question, I didn’t receive an answer.  Then, on this rainy Thursday evening, as I sat listening to Beth in her talk about Between the Rains, I realized….that is exactly where I am – Between the Rains.  I was in a season where God was challenging me to walk by faith and not by sight.  I didn’t see Him, I didn’t hear Him, but I knew He had spoken and started something so the only thing I knew to do was to cling to His word – I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.

I can remember very clearly one early morning in February of 2010, I was in Haiti for Disaster Relief and God woke me up and put a call on my life – I didn’t know exactly what it meant and I sure didn’t know what it would look like but it was clear.  I won’t go into all the details of what God has done and how God has worked in my life since that February day (that would be more of the length of a book, not a blog) but what I do want to share is that there have been times where I tried to put God’s plan in fast forward – I want to get to the “calling”.  I want to know what it is and I want to get there but let me just tell you that I’m not there yet and I know God is building His foundation, preparing me.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe I am in His divine will at this very moment, doing what He has called me to do.  One thing that Beth said during this Session is to accept the beauty of the process.  I so needed to hear that because many times I see the process as a means to an end and that is not what God intends for it to be.  I share all of this today because surely there is someone out there who is like me, questioning God, wondering if this is really the path He wants and if so why aren’t we hearing so clearly from Him.  As James would phrase it, my dear brothers and sisters, lets walk by faith and not by sight and commit to endure and continue down His path even when we are between the rains.

Reflection of a Year

Saturday, July 9, 2011, a day forever burned in my memory.  One of the things I never imagined would happen to us – we watched our house burn to the ground.  Almost all of our earthly possessions were lost in the fire.  We woke up Sunday morning with no home, no possessions and unsure of what was in store for the future; but one thing we were certain of – we knew who held our future.

As the kids watched the house burn, their questions continued to multiply.  Barrett thought since my wedding ring was in the house, that meant Jason and I were no longer married.  Madison wanted to know if we were ever going to have another home.  There were more questions than answers, but through it all, I experienced the peace that passes all understanding.  God started pouring out incredible blessings on us immediately – family, friends, neighbors, and strangers gathered around us providing for us in so many different ways.  We were in awe of the love, compassion and support we received.

God has taught me so much over the last year –   first and foremost, everything in this world can be lost in a moment; that is not where our treasure should be.  Second, I am more focused than ever that God has a specific purpose for my life and He will mold and make me, even take me through fire, to accomplish His purpose.

We have experienced more trials during this last year than I thought was possible.  God doesn’t promise a life of perfection, but He promises to work everything together for His good.  Through it all, the Holy Spirit has filled me with His joy, His peace and His strength.  I still don’t know what the future holds, but I know as long as I am on this earth, God has work for me to do.

I would be lying if I said I don’t have moments of fear, wondering what’s next, or will He come through on this “one”…..but when fear enters, I can proclaim 2 Timothy 1:7 – God did not give us a spirit of fear but of POWER and of love and sound mind.  I can run to my Heavenly Father and take shelter in Him; for He is my refuge, my protector, my strength and my power.

Loss

Today we lost a precious 18 year old girl named Ariel Gandy.  Ariel was a warrior in more than one sense of the word.  Ariel was a warrior of God’s army and Ariel was a warrior in her battle with cancer.  Diagnosed 20 months ago, Ariel was only given 3-6 months to live.  Her determination and will to never give up was inspiring to so many across this world; and when I say across this world, that is no exaggeration.  Her story was shared in other countries by missionaries who were moved by her determination and people in far away states heard of her story and started prayer connections.  Tallahassee fell in love with Ariel, from her exciting time she spent with the Florida State Football team, to time with our local fire fighters at fundraisers to fight cancer, to her special night at Leon’s Homecoming, she always inspired people to never give up.

Saddened is not a strong enough word for how I am feeling due to the loss of Ariel.  My heart is heavier then I have ever experienced and I cannot imagine the grief her family is experiencing during this time.  My prayer is people will remember Ariel’s determination and fight to never give up.  As her step-Mom Jane said, she was a true reflection of Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.